Showing posts with label musing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musing. Show all posts

26 March, 2010

Bus musings

07-Mar-2010, #6
I recently read a letter from a reader — probably in HK Mag — in which the reader complained about the general attitude received when trying to access either empty seats or seats occupied by luggage next to the window on public buses. Having taken a group of blind people on an outing, he complained that he had to loudly request that passengers on the bus make room for the blind rather than shift a few degrees to one angle, forcing the seatless passenger to squeeze past to access the window seat (which, being blind, would not be so easy). I immediately sympathised with this issue but also knew that I was sometimes guilty of it myself.

With heightened awareness in the following few days, I boarded a busy #6 one Sunday evening. Finding very few seats free, I headed to one of the '2 facing forward, 2 facing backward' sections on the lower deck because it had two free seats. Of course, both passengers had left placed their bags on the seats next to them and I foolishly presumed that one of them would move their luggage, given how full the bus was, and it would not be considered an outrageous request.

As the bus pulled off I stood and waited as the two aforementioned passengers had a staring competition of "whoever looks away first must move their luggage so this annoying person can sit here". I asked once and again, "please could you move your bags so I can sit down?" Not to mention that I was carrying luggage of my own, this was going on far too long and neither had moved an inch! Finally, feeling fed up and somewhat inspired by the letter in the paper, I reached forward as if to move some of the bags, making it clear I was not interested in this game and had indeed paid as much as they had for my seat on the bus. I was pretty sure that their luggage didn't have it's own Octopus card in order to pay for a seat!

Finally, action! The moment I came close to touching one of the passenger's possessions, she lurched forward to grab it away from me, stood up, tutted loudly while looking wildly around the bus for witnesses to my insane behaviour. I couldn't be bothered to talk Chinese to her, but stated "I paid for my seat too, I doubt that your bags did." And as she grabbed her things so she could move far, far away from me — presumably because I am obviously crazy and/or dangerous — she gave me a firm slap on the head.

For more information on Chinese people who love to fight, visit the entry that tries to capture all that anger on tape.

05-Nov-2008, #973
There's this stench on the bus. I've smelled it before and I know it comes from this really overweight guy, because when he shuffles past to get off the bus it wafts by me and doesn't go, it doesn't go for ages so I have to breath into my cardigan. Women around me root through their bags for Tempo hankies to breath into. It smells like rotting flesh, and I can't get away from it.

Today, when he gets off the bus I am sitting in a seat near the door. I look over and realise... it is rotting flesh. He shuffles because his foot is injured, not because he is so overweight, and there is a hospital bandage around his foot but I can see skin and puss through it.

I feel sick. But what can you do?

21-Oct-2008, #970x

I am on the bus and this Chinese guy just pulled out a bag with like 10 of those yummy siropenwaffle things... from Amsterdam, that me and Liz love to eat, that me and Gair munched on during our last sojourn there. There's caramel syrup oozing out of them. They look so good.

Those things are so hard to find here, and I really want to ask for one but a Chinese person would only find that rude, and more importantly, unhygienic (a westerner would think I was a scabby chav).

It just crossed my mind that I could try to make some, but ironically, I think some things are meant to be mass-produced.

17-Oct-2008, #970
There's a woman sitting opposite me with a bag depicting a family of birds. It says 'Nestle Nutrition' on it. It makes me laugh because... none of the Nestle foods are that nutritious, and they certainly did a bad job at promoting nutrition when they gave all that milk powder to starving mothers to give to their starving babies in Africa.

I took a photo of it with my rubbish camera-phone, while pretending to text.



Nestle nutrition



11-Oct-08, #5B
Man shouting on bus. MAN SHOUTING ON BUS!
This never happens, especially not in HK. I am on the bus and a man gets on, starts shouting, goes upstairs and continues to shout for about ten minutes.

People in HK don't know what to do about things like this. You could take your clothes off on the MTR and no-one would say anything. They would just look past you as if you weren't there.

People from upstairs start piling down, because they don't want to listen to the man shouting anymore. Meanwhile, the driver says and does nothing. In the UK, the bus driver would stop the bus, go upstairs and tell the man to leave. He would threaten to call the police. He would be a grumpy hard-ass.

I'm on the phone to my friend Katie in the US and she can hear the cacophony. She thinks it's hilarious that she can hear this man shouting all the way from Hong Kong.

After the famous Bus Uncle incident, people just don't want to deal with things like this.




Chinese people love to fight

It's come to my attention in the last year or so that there's a number of "angry Chinese people videos" out there on the Internet. I've titled this "Chinese people love to fight" which I think is a fair title. Living somewhere like Hong Kong you realise that there's a very odd kind of dichotomy – or should I say schizophrenia? – among locals here.

On the one hand, you could get on a bus naked and no-one would know what to do. They would most likely sit politely, without saying anything or even looking. On the other hand, often at the most surprising of times, uncouth screaming, shouting, hitting – yes, hitting – occurs. I was recently hit on the head by a woman on the bus who refused to move her bags so that I could sit down. After waiting for over a minute for her to finish her staring match with the woman opposite, also using a spare seat for her tired shopping bags, I went to move them for her in order to speed up the process of me sitting down. After a loud tut, she looked at me like I was crazy and hit me on the head before storming off (thus leaving me with two seats).

Anyway, enough preamble, enjoy the following international displays of fighting!










(This one is from San Francisco)



(This one is from New York)




13 March, 2010

Weird Tees

Untitled (McHitler)
Stanley, Hong Kong, 2010

Photobucket


Untitled (Chairman Obama)
Stanley, Hong Kong, 2010

Photobucket


Untitled (Fuck Off)
Mid Levels, Hong Kong, 2010

Photobucket


Go to the womb of the Earth
Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong, 2009

Photobucket

24 September, 2009

The Time-Travel-Jesus Argument

Chatting with friends a few weeks ago, we got around to the theme of time travel.

One friend — a successful, I’d say, artist and thinker turned the conversation over to meeting with Jesus, should he travel in time.

He felt that he would be disappointed if he traveled back in time only to discover that "Jesus turned out to be an A-hole." Later, he felt concern that we had the wrong impression, and clarified his thoughts further, sparking off another conversation. I found what followed to be an interesting and personal dialectic between a group of people — some religious, some not — who managed to be humorous while referring to their own beliefs about God and religion. What struck me most, was that genuinely no-one took offense over a topic that has caused endless family feuds and outright war across the centuries.

What my friend (the artist) clarified us with was this:

“What I meant to suggest was the possibility that it might not be that fun to hang out with the son of God. Upon further reflection, I started to realize how much my interactions with people rely on humor. Not necessarily "jokes" per se, but a certain element of surprise — a flouting of expected response. In an interaction with a deity, this would all go out the window. A deity would ostensibly know everything, and though Jesus would probably laugh out of courtesy, it wouldn't be sincere. For me, these ingredients would add up to a pretty awkward interaction. Again, my apologies if anyone was offended.”

And here’s a sample of what followed.

The first one, from a Catholic (Argentinian/ Italian, not a regular church-goer but definitely someone with “faith” in God):

“Well first of all, thank you for your apologies and clarification about your Jesus comments last Saturday. I think now I'll be able to sleep tonight, been praying for you ever since the junk trip for God to forgive your sins and have said 1000 rosaries.

But this morning I got a call from the bearded man himself and he says he thinks you are a bit of an A-hole yourself, but thinks your kinda funny, so he loves you none-the-less and has chosen to forgive you.

Oh he also said I should give you some tips on your art, cos you are lacking some creative inspiration… unlike me, he said.

If you wish, I am available for healing services on the weekends.
Peace be with you.”


What we see there is a very Catholic-yet-humored response — praying for her friend, saying rosaries. On top, she states that God would appreciate the artist’s humor and choose to forgive him — an all embracing God, perhaps? Finally, she admonishes her friend with her own brand of humor.

Not long after, came another response:

“I'm agnostic, cynic and at the same time Italian, that means have the Vatican's boss everyday on the first page of every newspaper giving his opinion (and sometimes he assures to be the will of God Almighty) about political and ethical topics. If you're agnostic that doesn't make feel better...

I believe if Jesus is the guy he should be to have the position he (supposedly) has/ had he should be at least very open minded, charitable and definitely able to make laugh of himself, his family and his friends.

I found your comment of last Sunday interesting, of course you could have it express with other words and in a more politically correct way but I like the idea of thinking on Jesus like a guy with a lot of charisma but with also defects. I could almost believe in him.”

The agnostic raised in a devoutly Catholic place, reasoning that Jesus should, indeed, be the cool guy, the open guy — the guy you’d want him to be. And not the guy that means the neutral or negative things that religion itself has brought him to mean, to so many people. A paradoxical Italian.

And finally, from someone who was brought up in a rectory:

When it comes to a guy like Jesus, there's no way of knowing what he'd be like when you first meet him.

Maybe he's sick of being the serious guy and is waiting for someone to make frat jokes with, or shoot the bull for a while, talking trash about each others mum's (that'd be Mary) like in Stand By Me.

Alternatively, he could just be the cool guy that he was trying to be, before his stories were chronicled and turned into dogma. Maybe King Crimson were right when they sang "Jesus was way cool".

Either way, I took no offense. My step-father is a priest, and I have had my earful of religion.

If I actually did travel in time I would not only use the cat-buttered-toast-paradox to create my own time vortex, but if I bumped into Jeebus (doubt I'd go looking for him) I'd give him the chance to be someone totally different to the person that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John painted him to be.”

So if you could travel in time, and meet Jesus, what would you expect, what would you do?